Action movies frequently contain scenes of the main character using improvised weapons ranging from ballpoint pens stabbed through hands to ladders swung around and spun like a cheerleader’s baton.
Once you’re in the right frame of mind, you’ll realize how many seemingly inoffensive objects in your home can be used to inflict pain and misery on another human being.
Be ready to do whatever it takes
Before we go through each room and point out all of the useful weapons inside those rooms, let us first discuss the internal conflict that many people experience when it comes to causing harm to another person
Unless you are combat trained, chances are that once you get past the initial shock, the possibility of actually hitting or stabbing someone, even in self-defense or in defense of a loved one, brings you to a stop.
It has happened before, and most of us were taught from a young age that engaging in violent behavior was unacceptable. We were taught that violence isn’t the answer, and this lesson can actually work against you when trying to de-escalate a situation isn’t always a good thing.
To win, you may have to do things that are contrary to your beliefs, personality, and your daily mindset. You’ll have to act quickly and forcefully if your life or the lives of your loved ones are at stake.
You must also give yourself permission to bring to the surface your ugly and nasty nature. You have to be mean and decisive because all these traits may be necessary for you to win. Even so, there are also legal considerations to be aware of.
However, in a national crisis where the rule of law no longer holds any weight, the dangers of potential criminal or civil charges lawsuits aren’t usually a big deal. In the here and now, they are and will undoubtedly come into play.
Do your homework and learn everything you can about the laws governing self-defense in your state, both at home and on the streets.
Remember that simply because you disagree with a law does not mean it does not apply to you. Furthermore, the judge and jury have no authority to make or change existing laws. They can only interpret them and apply them to your situation.
As we go through the house, assume you don’t have your usual self-defense weapon at hand, such as a sidearm. The goal here is to play “What if?” and come up with alternative defensive options.
Keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to wake up safely the next morning. This could mean simply fleeing the assailant and calling the police rather than engaging in a drawn-out battle from one end of the house to the other.
As a result, many of the suggestions here are a means to an end rather than just creative methods of turning your attacker into a rapidly cooling corpse.
Bedroom
You return home from a long day at work to find some jackass standing in your bedroom, much to your surprise. They’ve apparently climbed through your bedroom window and are searching your closet for easy-to-snatch valuables.
Wire hangers can be quickly transformed into a variety of weapons. Straighten the hook and jab it at the burglar’s throat or face, then grab the hanger, so the hook protrudes from between your fingers.
Alternatively, open the hanger’s body and loop it around their neck, dragging them by the neck to where you want them to go, such as down to the floor or into a wall.
A lot of folks keep a flashlight beside their bed. It could be used as a bludgeon if it is of sufficient size and weight.
Shining a bright light into the eyes of the burglars may temporarily dazzle them, but don’t count on it. The strobe feature that so many of today’s tactical flashlights have is also not ideal. If the room is dark, you’re just as likely as the intruder to become disoriented.
Put a thick-walled perfume bottle or another similarly small but heavy object into a sock to make a nice little slingshot. Swing the weighted end of the sock at the attacker’s head while holding the open end.
Livingroom
The living room, also known as the family room, is frequently the largest room in the house. This, at the very least, provides you with some breathing room.
A table lamp can be hurled or swung at the attacker. However, if you don’t unplug it from the wall first, the weapon’s usefulness may be limited.
The photo frames you have lying around in your living room could be thrown like a Frisbee, or you can use them to stab the home invader in the throat. Although the glass is usually quite thin, a shard of it will still slice and dice, though you will most likely cut your hand just as easily unless you first wrap it in a towel or something similar.
Any small corded electronics can be swung by the cord and used to harm the burglar. Alternatively, the cord could be wrapped around a person’s throat.
Also, don’t overlook the utility of a fireplace poker or other tool if you have a fireplace or wood stove.
A small couch cushion or a pillow can be used as an improvised shield to deflect blows. Nonetheless, it will obviously be ineffective against a firearm.
Bathroom
I’ve always wondered about people in real-life situations who enter their bathroom and look behind the shower curtain. Assume you do find someone there, like in the movies. What do you do? What are your plans?
A squirt of hairspray or another product you have inside your bathroom into the eyes of the attacker could be all you need to get away.
However, you should avoid using a lighter and hairspray to make that fun little flamethrower that most of us played with as teenagers. When people are set on fire, most do not simply collapse and remain on the floor. They have a tendency to run around, possibly setting other things on fire, such as curtains and blankets. That’s not something I’d want to discuss with your insurance agent.
You can take a full bar of soap and wrap it in a towel and use it to apply a blow to the head. The toilet tank lid can pack quite a punch to the head as well.
Grab the shower curtain rod from above and strike the intruder’s solar plexus or groin. However, be careful not to trip over the shower curtain while you stab the attacker.
A hairbrush or comb thrust into the throat or face may cause serious injury or at least enough pain for you to flee the room and get to a safer location, such as outside, and be on the phone with the police as soon as possible.
Kitchen
Not only is the kitchen the place of gathering for your family and the principal room of the home for many activities, but it is also filled with various weapons.
For starters, there are all those gleaming and razor-sharp knives and other utensils specifically designed for slicing and stabbing meat. Scissors and letter openers are two other common pointy implements found in a kitchen.
If you hit someone with a frying pan in the head, they will feel it for a few days. You get bonus points, sort of speak if it’s a cast-iron skillet, but that’s likely to put them out for good.
You can use a mop or broom to keep the attacker at bay.
An assault consisting of thrown plates, bowls, and other items may cause them to abandon the project and relocate to a “safer” home.
That old pot of coffee may not taste great, but it will do a pretty decent job of deterring an attacker when thrown in their face, and of course, you could just smash them with the carafe. Furthermore, a coffee mug is usually one of the heaviest and most durable items in the cupboard. When it hits the head, face, or hand, it will hurt a lot.
Most kitchens are equipped with a fire extinguisher, and if your kitchen doesn’t have one, you should consider getting one. Yes, its primary purpose is to put out kitchen fires, but it also works well on burglars and other intruders. Spray it in their face and then hit them over the head with it.
A wooden cutting board makes an adequate shield, though it may be difficult to hold if it lacks a handle.
Restraining a home invader
Legalities aside, attempting to restrain a home invader to hold them until the police arrive is rarely a good idea.
While it sounds great on paper, it can be difficult to properly tie up an aggressive human being without injuring or killing them. Even more, they will work their way out of the improvised restraints if you do it incorrectly.
And if something goes wrong while you try to restrain the home invader or after you’ve restrained him, If, you might have to dig a large, deep hole. You can imagine that neither choice is ideal.
Here are some pointers if you simply need to restrain them until the police arrive:
Use rope only if you are confident in your knot-tying abilities. Keep in mind that many ropes, such as clotheslines, can and will stretch. As a result, they’re not difficult to get away from.
Zip ties usually work well for wrists and ankles if you are using heavy-duty ones. Even regular zip ties may work in certain cases as long as the person hasn’t seen the countless videos online that show exactly how to break them. Consider doubling or tripling them if you intend to use those.
Another DIY restraint material that is recommended is duct tape. Again, it’s not the perfect choice, but it might be your best option if you don’t have handcuffs on hand. And no, I’m not talking about those fuzzy handcuffs you use in your bedroom with your partner.
Concluding
When it comes to self-defense and home protection, the main point is to use whatever means necessary to get out alive. While nothing beats a firearm for this job, there may be cases in which you may not be able to reach or use it. In those cases, you need to think a bit outside the box. Even if you don’t have access to your gun, you are surrounded by objects you could use to protect yourself and your loved ones.
Suggested prepping learning:
Seven key elements your Home Defense Plan needs
Must-Have Knowledge to survive any medical emergency
How to defeat a bigger, stronger opponent in a self-defense situation
Survival lessons from our ancestors that can still be used today
All this is fine and dandy for situations where you’re caught with your pants down. However, in the U.S., IN YOUR OWN HOME, you should have access to purpose-built weapons which will be better than any improvised weapon for the purpose, any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. In most states, this extends to hotel rooms and other places as well.
Example – the hairspray recommendation. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a small canister of pepper spray in your pocket around the house, positioned on your rooms, etc.
Defensive weaponry = emergency life-saving tools – exactly analogous to a fire extinguisher, or first aid kit. Make sure you have the defensive weaponry you need. Plan to have the appropriate purpose-built weapons on hand for your jurisdiction. Failing to plan is planning to fail.